0Posted by Scott Michalak on December 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I hope we really make some grease out of Bobrovsky tonite.
It would help us in the standings. (In the nomenclature of the X-mas season, it would also bring tidings of some sort to our PA hockey-neighbors, who are always looking for a new “greasy” kind of thing to spill on their cheese “steak” “sandwiches.”)
Looking at this thing makes me wish I owned a defibrillator. So I could relive to eat another.
Good lord that looks absolutely nauseating delicious. Still, it’s probably full of pin worms.
Philly, you disgust us.
Digression aside, there is sadly no Sabres Twitter BINGO for tonight’s matchup against the hated Flyers. Feel free to insert your own Briere jokes on the Twit, but in the meantime, is there a particular team that you’d like to see roasted on BSN’s Sabres BINGO?
If so, let us know. Hit the “contact” button above, or just send me a tweet at @ScottyMCSS. Heck, if you have a jab insult good enough for the rallying BINGO experience, then send that too, and we’ll credit it and link to you. We’re all in this together, after all.
It’s a Brave New Internet World.
Full of Cheez-“Steaks.”
And the universal hatred for all things Philadelphia. (“It’s Always Sunny” gets a pass.)
2Posted by Scott Michalak on December 2, 2011 at 9:06 am
Tonight features the iconic matchup of Mike Babcock’s “The System” versus Lindy Ruff’s “The System.” May the best philosopher win.
To go along with this head to head chess match, we at BSN are proud to rebuff it with a even more snarky than usual version of Sabres Twitter BINGO. I’ll warn you ahead of time – this one is not going to be very winnable. And it’s kiiiiinda wordy.
Frankly, you can just put your dabbers back in the drawer for this one. Heck, it ain’t like we ever actually give out prizes to the winner anyway.
Prepare yourself for a heavy dose of old Tim Connolly, Darcy Regier, and Jochen Hecht jokes.
And maybe a nose hair joke. (Apologies in advance. To everyone.)
And maybe a couple old classics, for you Sabres Twitter veterans out there.
Tonight’s winner receives the least bruised octopus.
Waste not, want not.
As always, click to enlarge, and again to re-enlarge.
0Posted by Scott Michalak on November 4, 2011 at 8:56 am
Dear Mr. Ryan Miller:
Please forgive us, your humble fans, for becoming frustrated to the point of booing you the other night. Sure, you just lost 4 straight games. You were bested by Mathieu Garon when he posted a shutout against you in Tampa. He got the 1st star again when he beat you in Buffalo in the next game. Then, that plucky Jhonas Enroth punk won a game while you sat against Columbus. In your triumphant return against the Panthers, you let a 3rd period lead get away from you. Then, you browned your overalls against Philly, allowing 2 goals before two minutes were up. Your time on the ice was up before 7 minutes, when you got the yank after the Flyers’ 3rd quick strike.
And we, the fans, booed you for all of this?
Shame. Shame, on us.
You had to sit there, forced to sulk, as that plucky son-of-a-backup Enroth stepped in and posted a shut out the rest of the way against Philly. After the game, the media got all up in your face and asked – no – DEMANDED that you answer questions about your game. To paraphrase one of your keen gametime observations: “The fans cheer when I make a save, then boo me when I miss one. Whatever.”
“Whatever,” indeed! Incised insight for all of us. I apologize for the Sabres fan base, Mr. Miller. We forgot that we pay gobs of money for your jersey, $1600 – per seat – for season tickets in the 300’s, to watch you and your fellow Sabres play hockey, not to complain about you. We forgot that we’re supposed to chirp Leino, Boyes, Vanek, Sekera, and Myers. And Tim Connolly. Never you. Oh, and “It’s the team losing, not just you.” We get it. We really do.
The Lion's roar.
So, in honor of this grievous error, I present to you and Sabres Nation a special edition of Sabres BINGO, featuring all sorts of references to this silly one worded Renaissance Man tween-trum.
6Posted by Scott Michalak on October 18, 2011 at 9:46 am
It’s the inaugural meeting between the Habs and Sabres for the 2011-12 season, so we’ve put together a new edition of Sabres Twitter BINGO! to supply fans with a hearty dose of enjoyment half-smirks and meh shrugs.
Hey! It’s the Habs! Let’s join together tonight and really savor the deep and unsettling hatred we have for this team. Oh, and remember – these guys dive, which segways us from reasons to hate the Habs to today’s BINGO! prize:
Today’s winner receives a dozen Montreal Canadien pillows, which he or she is to directly mail to the Bell Centre.
New team mascot?
Hit the :25 second mark of the video.
Don’t worry Jack, we’ll see that your message is delivered.
(As always, click on the card for a larger, eye-friendly version.)
Wordy? Yes. Funny as all get out? Ehhhhh... maybe.
0Posted by Scott Michalak on October 7, 2011 at 8:02 am
It’s opening night (day)!
This means the return of hockey, and the glorious return of our Sabres BINGO! series. Today’s snark features the Anaheim Ducks in a special Finland edition.
It’s been a long offseason (as possibly evidenced by the quality level of puns in our BINGO! squares today) but it is finally time to sit back and enjoy the good ol’ hockey game, and a Buffalo afternoon beer or three six. Unless you’re at work, then you possibly get to enjoy none of this.
Today’s prize is a autographed Tim Connolly sweater, so keep your dabbers close at hand! Seriously. I’d hate to try to sell this thing on Ebay.
*Disclaimer: the autographed Tim Connolly sweater is covered in rips, bloodstains, medical tape, fan-spit, and somehow under his signature Jerry Sullivan and Bucky Gleason managed to pen a small article about how much he sucks.
*Disclaimer #2: the autographed Tim Connolly sweater does not exist. The prize is actually being a member of Pegulaville, Pominville City, and Hockey Heaven. So we all win.
(Remember to click on the pic for larger eye-friendly versions.)