Some of these are funny, and of course, some of these will make you want to hit happy hour as early as possible. Happy Friday, y’all!
And… here… we… GO!
END THE LOCKOUT FOR THE WIVES! Seriously, hockey players can be freaking obnoxious sometimes (all in good fun). Which leads me to this random thought: holy crap imagine Pat Kane as a husband.
He’d get his own TMZ crew/another TMZ crew.
We know the lockout is hurting many, many people who don’t lace up the skates. This food bank news downright sucks. But, is there any hope for a quick resolution before the Holidays?
In fact, the two days of government mediation ended with zero progress.
They must have sent senators.
Here’s a touch of good news for the future of the Sabres:
Possible 1st goal call by RJ: “ALLLLLL HAILLLLL Mikhaillllll! Grigorenko puts it top shelf, where momma hides the cookies, for his first career NHL goal!” Might be a couple years before/if this happens. Can we get RJ some youth serum? Anyone have Keith Richard’s phone number for his doctor? Dammit NHL, you ruin everything.
The Bills have applied the Mercy Rule for fans this week.
Let’s put a tourniquet-twist on one of the good ol’ days in Buffalo sport, and start the chant for this weekend here and now:
Thank you, Sabres!
Thank you, Bills!
This year is a special kind of nightmare for Buffalo sports fans. No hockey and humiliating football have combined to form the perfect ragestorm on the Twitter, radio, blog and print conversation – every week – for months now. I know I’ve had enough, and frankly, a blacked out game is kinda welcome news.
Family time in the B-lo. Use it to catch up on your holiday shopping, or visit one of those cultural thingys we talk so much about here. I hear the zoo is wonderful this time of year. Ooo – or you can go check out the
view graffiti and giant friggin’ spiders at the top of City Hall.
“Hey look at the urban sprawl on THIS side! OMG THERE’S SPIDERS EVERYWHERE.” Yes. And these are just the babies.
Seriously though, I do love my Buffalo. Hell, I settled here after trying out life on three separate continents. So, I’m going to take advantage of #blackoutlockoutmageddon and do what Buffalonians do in times of crisis like this:
go to those art galleries buy a six pack and scan NFL mock drafts, maybe cry a little.
Maybe scan the other channels on TV.
This weekend is going to suck. Again though – thank you Bills for gutting us all throughout the season. It helps us all survive this blackout gutpunch, especially after all your supreme efforts at disemboweling the art of modern era playcalling and execution.
Maybe I’ll catch up on my reading.
If you have any things-to-do suggestions, lemme know in the comments section below. Even though none of you will. Jerks.
On to the blackout Tweet of the Day. Barrister, get us the hell out of this post!
TARP! Aweomse. Wordplay wins the day.
Gary Bettman: everyone’s hostess with the mostest.
“You want a table? NO TABLE FOR YOU! NO NEGOTIATING TABLES FOR ANYONE!”
OK, 90’s jokes mercifully aside, let’s get on with further stupidity:
This gem was RT’d 628 freakin’ times (as of the writing of this post). Something tells me fans really care deeply about this
NHL lockout Twinkie thing right now.
Of course, in a move that can only be described as a labor negotiation punch-in-the-face-line, NHL fans got this news:
The judge overseeing Hostess Brands Inc., while declining to approve the company’s liquidation, asked management and the bakers’ union to enter mediation today to resolve the strike that the maker of Twinkies and Wonder bread said forced it to shut.
U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert Drain said yesterday at a hearing in White Plains, New York, that there are “serious questions as to the logic behind the decision to strike.” Hostess and the bakers’ union agreed to Drain’s request to enter confidential mediation under his supervision.
Well Bettman, it seems the free market values Twinkies more than your lockout right now. Mission: ACCOMPLISHED! By the time this thing is over, Bettman’s going to be that sad girl on stage covered in buckets of hemoglobin. THEY ARE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU, GARY. THEY ARE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU.
This post is getting creepy.
So… NHL lockout, Twinkies, bad movie analogies…
Did somebody say “first world problems?”
Play us the hell outta’ here, Meshuggah!
This is getting old.
What else is getting old? Analyzing this trade:
Not sure who is now currently winning that trade. I guess I’ll take broken bones over sticks and stones on my hockey team (whenever that hockey team exists again), so we’ll say the Sabres are still in the trade analysis lead.
We’re 60 days into this nightmare.
Even one of these guys could get the negotiations done in 60 days.
On to day 61.
It’s sad because it’s true:
Maybe RJ is using this time to prepare some legendary game calls. Who am I kidding? He’s probably out fishing with Jim Lorentz.
I said I’m sorry!
Artist’s interpretation of the reading of the tweet.
So much sad. Good lord, this lockout is boring. Hmm. Brings up a random thought: I wonder what it sounds like when Jeanneret yawns? I bet he even makes his yawns pretty damn exciting.