The search for a #1 center continues.
As the Brad Richards saga drags on, teams are beginning to set their sights on other options. One pivot, Paul Stastny, has been the subject of trade rumors since February. He’d come roughly $1 million cheaper than Richards: Stastny has a cap hit of $6.6 million per season, (under contract until 2014). Playing on a team heavy at center (and with prospect Joey Hishon making a charge towards the NHL ranks), it is actually plausible that Stastny could be had, for the right price.
A trade for Stastny could involve an avalanche of prospects and picks moving back to Colorado.
Hockey purists, prepare to cringe.
For a mere $13.99, you too can be the proud owner of “Turd Burgler.” It’s a small scoop that turns your hockey stick into a makeshift pooper scooper.
Oh, yes. I could not possibly make this up. Not surprisingly, the product comes out of the hockey-insane state of Minnesota (where fans with too much
time beer on their hands apparently felt compelled to take the fine art of poo-flinging from our monkey cousins and take it to a whole new evolutionary level).
Never has tape-to-tape passing been more important.
From their website:
JUST HOW MANY SETS OF WINE GLASSES, CUFF LINKS, MONOGRAMED GOLF SHIRTS, WRIST WATCHES OR PEN AND PENCIL SETS DO YOU NEED?
ARE YOU TIRED OF CHEAP PIZZAS, EXPENSIVE CANDY BARS, WRAPPING PAPER?
HOW MANY MAGAZINES CAN YOU READ IN ONE MONTH?
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SELL THE HOTTEST NEW PRODUCT THAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT TO YOUR ENTIRE MEMBERSHIP LIST AND THEIR FREINDS AND FAMILIES FOR YOUR NEXT FUND RAISER?
Well, all those caps certainly have me convinced. And so is Nanook:
Nanook from Nunavut, also weighed in with an exercise he likes to run his young ones through, dealing with mass quantities of moose dung. They are marshmallow sized and come in large piles and are abundant throughout his Province. He has the kids line up ten or so in a row about 6 inches apart. Then he has the kids rapid fire the nuggets at tree trunks for snap-shot practice. It give the kids “good hands” on the ice when they mature.
I don’t think any of his kids will grow up to be a goaltender.
The once proud state.
This thing has been thoroughly product-tested, and comes with a set of
disclaimers devious ideas for the kids:
- Slap shots = SLOP shots. Wrist shots recommended
- High Sticking = High Stinking
- Do not splatter the fecal matter. Designate safe locations away from people and property for compost pile location or target/turd collection area
- Some municipalities have restrictions of compost use and content. Call you city for direction
- Using compost containing canine fecal matter on human consumables like vegetables can be hazardous to your health if food is not sufficiently washed.
- Never shoot poop at people or pets
- Never use the house, garage, storage shed or Dad’s car as a backstop
- Always wash hands after touching poop
- Always wash off Turd BurglarTM and targets after use
- Never use the Kiddy Pool as a target or clean up site
Anyone else feeling concerned for the dogs and cats of Minnesota?
And oh, before you give us poop for writing about this thing, we’re actually late to the party – ESPN first “scooped” this story way back in 2006. Always first in hockey coverage, those guys.
How’s about a little game-show style history?
Today, we’ve got a special little challenge for you readers out there. In the picture below, there is a former Buffalo Sabre slightly
obscured being pulverized by Peter Zezel and Rick Tocchet.
Not the picture. Keep reading.
Your challenge is to analyze the photo, consult your deep Sabres fanaticism, and figure out who is inside that Broad Street Bully Bludgeon sandwich.
Leave your answers in the comments section below.
The first correct response receives “future considerations!” In other words, the prize might be something great, or it might be nothing at all – it all depends on
several determining factors my mood.
And now, contestants, here is your mystery Sabre:
At least one sock looks unscathed.
We’ll give you one hint: this hit occurred during the ’87-’88 season. Now, go scour that old roster and give us your best shot!
Dallas is saying goodbye to their star center.
Brad Richards’ agent, Pat Morris, gave the New York Daily News some details on Monday night:
“The Stars have not asked Brad to waive his no-trade clause, and at this point in time, he has no intention of doing so,” agent Pat Morris told the Daily News Monday night when informed that a source had said a move to the Toronto Maple Leafs could be completed by the end of this week. “We’re still pointing toward July 1.”
The Daily News goes on to say that the Leafs remain the team to beat in the Richards derby:
A source told The News Monday night that the Maple Leafs felt close enough to making such a deal that they already have plans in place for subsequent moves to clear salary-cap room for Richards, who made $7.8 million this season.
“It’s legit,” the source said. “Toronto is desperate for a star like this.”
The Rangers remain linked to Richards through their head coach, John Tortorella, who coached Richards in Tampa. The Lightning, whom Richards won a Stanley Cup and Conn Smythe trophy with back in 2004, are also in the speculative market.
Next stop: Toronto?
Meanwhile, Mark Stepneski of ESPN reports that while the Stars are out of the running to retain their star center, GM Joe Nieuwendyk has a plan B already in place:
One of the priorities for 2011-12 is a top six forward with it becoming clear now that Richards will hit the free agent market and will not be back with the team. Nieuwendyk said that top six forward might come through a trade rather than overspending on one in free agency.
“I think we need a top 6 forward with Brad obviously moving on,” Nieuwendyk said. “Jamie [Benn] shifting to center is a very likely scenario. It’s not 100 percent set in stone yet. If you’ve Benner and Loui [Eriksson] and you’ve got [Mike Ribeiro] and Brenden [Morrow], there’s your top two (lines)and you fill in around them.”
While adding Alex Goligoski at last season’s trade deadline was a major boost to the defense, Nieuwendyk said adding a top defenseman is a focus as well.
“We’d like to improve our defense for sure,” he said. “Again, it may be through trade.”
Depth is another priority. It’s an area that hurt the Stars last season and something that has paid dividends for teams that have gone deep in the playoffs.
That might seem like a lot of work for the Stars, but it shows what kind of impact a big contract like Richards’ can have on a team. With his $7.8 million off the books, Nieuwendyk suddenly has the ability to change the complexion and depth of his entire roster. Any team that takes on Richards is going to lose much of their wiggle-room for a long time, a problem that Buffalo Sabres Nation has touched on before.
Still, some team out there will think Richards is worth the riches.
See also: “Target: Brad Richards.“
It’s June 5th.
Back on June 5 of 1972, the Sabres selected Tim Horton in the intra-league draft, off the Pittsburgh Penguins roster. The rugged defender would go on to become the heart and soul of Buffalo.
But as the story goes, Horton was hesitant to sign for his last, tragic year in Buffalo.
His donut empire was growing, and at 43, he was the second oldest player in the league, (just months younger than netminder Gump Worsley). But Punch Imlach realized he needed Horton on the blueline, and offered him another one-year contract.
The deal was sealed when Imlach offered Horton a 1973 De Tomaso Pantera sports car as a bonus.
On February 20, 1974, Buffalo was visiting Toronto, hoping to steal two points and help gain enough momentum to propel the team towards a playoff spot. Horton played his typical game, despite playing with a broken jaw (the result of a deflected slapshot during the previous day’s practice). The Sabres lost 4-2, but Tim was still named the game’s third star.
“He was hurting too bad to play a regular shift in the third period,” recalled Imlach. “We faded without him and lost the game to the Leafs. After the game, he and I took a little walk up Church Street and had what was our last talk.”
“He was down in the dumps because he didn’t like to miss a shift and he felt he had cost us the game. I got on the bus with the team. Tim drove the ‘cursed’ car back to Buffalo. He didn’t make it.”
In the early morning hours of February 21st, a report came over the Ontario Provincial Police radio of a sports car moving at high speed through the Burlington area along the QEW. An officer near Vineland saw the car fly past him and tried to follow it, but he couldn’t keep up. He estimated the car was going at least 160 kmh (100 mph).
Now THAT is a hockey mug.
Some time around 4:30 the morning of February 21, 1974, Horton’s Pantera hit an elevated sewer grate and flipped several times, throwing him from the vehicle onto the highway near St. Catharines.
Horton was killed instantly.
After the loss, his business parter, Ron Joyce, created theTim Horton Children’s Foundation. The foundation reflects Horton’s love for children and his desire to help those less fortunate. This year the Foundation will serve close to 14,000 children from economically disadvantaged homes.
Tragedy can be ironic, confusing, and devastating. 37 years later, however, Tim Horton is still doing one of the things he always cherished – helping folks out. Next time you are at the HSBC arena, take a peek up at his #2 hanging from the rafters, and whisper a thank you.