Thousands tens of thousands every football nut with access to the Internet is preparing for the big day tomorrow – the actual NFL draft.
Mocksters all over the nation are hesitantly hitting the “publish” button on their blogs, and settling back into their chairs to wait for what can only be a hilarious response to all the stupid shit they said in their “profiles” and “hot takes” on the incoming NFL prospects.
It’s going to be a gruesome slaughter.
BOOM: the sound you will hear as every mock draft implodes after the first trade on actual draft day. Hey look, even the explosion is mocking this whole process.
“I’ve been sweating over other mock drafts for the past couple weeks,” said the Guy at the Office today. “But I’ve got an angle. I put in trades. Also, I put in 2-5 ‘alternatives’ for each pick, so I’m pretty confident that I’ll have real success tomorrow.”
Leopold for a 2nd and a 5th/4th? And it was not even deadline day? Great value. From there, let’s examine the future of the Sabres’ GM…
Time to blow some shit up.
I’ll dress up like a banana if it helps to move Drew Stafford. It won’t. But I’m willing. Chances are, we’re all willing. IDEA: let’s all wear banana costumes to the next game.
Also, for the record: I’ll pay for Stafford’s bus ride out of town. Despite his goal in front of the net yesterday, he is all pond hockey here. He wants to be moved. He is playing like this, so that he will be moved. Or, he is playing like that because he wants to lose his career. Hmm.
Instead of the normal “let’s trade this guy for that guy” HFBoards/Twitter/WGR analysis, I’m going to do a simplified deadline day trade version. Welcome, everyone, to “Who would Scotty Trade?” (Spoiler alert: STAFFORD. Oh wait. Nevermind.)
“Trade him for a bag of pucks,” you say? The Sabres don’t need a bag of pucks. But hey, they could toss them into the crowd or something. Make the deal! Goodtimes.
It’s multiple choice.
A. Should we boo?
B. Should we hope for trades?
C. Should we demand that Regier is fired, and do we have the patience for a true rebuild?
D. Should we hope that we can string together a 5 game win streak to get close enough to the playoffs to then hopefully have a sniff at Lord Stanley?
E. All of the above.
If you answered D, you’ve failed this semester of Sabres hockey. Please return to Sabres University and try to pass again next term.
The answer is E:
We should boo… and hope (a little more on that later). This team is not terrible. It is talented – yet refuses to play to its abilities. This is not our long lost “Hardest Working Team in Hockey,” this is a nightmare. Unleash the boos and don’t hold back: at least someone in the building will be putting in 100%.
We’re all in this together.
Ron Rolston is the new interim coach, and his Sabres are currently basking in the glow of their sweep of the Sunshine State.
Rolston, as it was announced by Darcy Regier, is here as an interim coach. He’s on a tryout. He’s been tweaking a few things. Tinkering. Trying to get The Most Inconsistently Working Team in Hockey working again. He’s a very knowledgeable man, and I wish him the best of luck. But this is a try-out for him.
Nothing is guaranteed for Rolston, and the same should be said for the rest of the Sabres.