Posted by Scott Michalak on April 30, 2013 at 9:18 pm
WE CAN’T GET PAST THE FIRST ROUND.
WE CAN’T GET PAST THE FIRST ROUND.
WE CAN’T GET PAST THE FIRST ROUND.
(Repeat ten times, in total. Or maybe eleven. Depends on your Sabres calandar.)
WE WILL NEVER GET PAST THE FIRST ROUND.
WE ARE CURSED.
THE JIM LORENTZ BAT CURSE.
TRADING DANNY GARE CURSE.
DRAFTING SEILING INSTEAD OF BOSSY CURSE.
TRADING MIKE FOLIGNO CURSE.
TRADING ALL THOSE GUYS CURSE (seriously, Lindy to the Rags for a 2nd that became Smehlik? That’s HERESY).
#BEACUASEITSBUFFALO CURSE.
Sound familiar? It should. Losing hockey teams have a lot in common: key players go to better rinks, and so the fans evoke the good ol’ Hockey Gods, and all the ridiculous curses. Oh wait, I forgot one:
EVERY TIME I WATCH/ATTEND/THINK TANGENTIALLY ABOUT A GAME, WE LOSE.
Yet we watch. No matter how murderous the play on ice becomes… we watch. Do they have therapists for cities, because daaaamn we need one.
To spare your eyes, I’ll take the all caps off for the rest of this post.
Oh, and it gets much more optimistic. Think you can handle that?
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Posted by Scott Michalak on April 24, 2013 at 11:05 am
Thousands tens of thousands every football nut with access to the Internet is preparing for the big day tomorrow – the actual NFL draft.
Mocksters all over the nation are hesitantly hitting the “publish” button on their blogs, and settling back into their chairs to wait for what can only be a hilarious response to all the stupid shit they said in their “profiles” and “hot takes” on the incoming NFL prospects.
It’s going to be a gruesome slaughter.
BOOM: the sound you will hear as every mock draft implodes after the first trade on actual draft day. Hey look, even the explosion is mocking this whole process.
“I’ve been sweating over other mock drafts for the past couple weeks,” said the Guy at the Office today. “But I’ve got an angle. I put in trades. Also, I put in 2-5 ‘alternatives’ for each pick, so I’m pretty confident that I’ll have real success tomorrow.”
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Posted by Scott Michalak on April 1, 2013 at 11:32 am
Leopold for a 2nd and a 5th/4th? And it was not even deadline day? Great value. From there, let’s examine the future of the Sabres’ GM…
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Posted by Scott Michalak on March 17, 2013 at 11:07 am
Time to blow some shit up.
I’ll dress up like a banana if it helps to move Drew Stafford. It won’t. But I’m willing. Chances are, we’re all willing. IDEA: let’s all wear banana costumes to the next game.
Also, for the record: I’ll pay for Stafford’s bus ride out of town. Despite his goal in front of the net yesterday, he is all pond hockey here. He wants to be moved. He is playing like this, so that he will be moved. Or, he is playing like that because he wants to lose his career. Hmm.
Instead of the normal “let’s trade this guy for that guy” HFBoards/Twitter/WGR analysis, I’m going to do a simplified deadline day trade version. Welcome, everyone, to “Who would Scotty Trade?” (Spoiler alert: STAFFORD. Oh wait. Nevermind.)
“Trade him for a bag of pucks,” you say? The Sabres don’t need a bag of pucks. But hey, they could toss them into the crowd or something. Make the deal! Goodtimes.
Posted by Scott Michalak on March 14, 2013 at 6:04 pm
It’s multiple choice.
A. Should we boo?
B. Should we hope for trades?
C. Should we demand that Regier is fired, and do we have the patience for a true rebuild?
D. Should we hope that we can string together a 5 game win streak to get close enough to the playoffs to then hopefully have a sniff at Lord Stanley?
E. All of the above.
If you answered D, you’ve failed this semester of Sabres hockey. Please return to Sabres University and try to pass again next term.
The answer is E:
We should boo… and hope (a little more on that later). This team is not terrible. It is talented – yet refuses to play to its abilities. This is not our long lost “Hardest Working Team in Hockey,” this is a nightmare. Unleash the boos and don’t hold back: at least someone in the building will be putting in 100%.
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