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On Eve of NFL Draft, Mocksters Preparing for Gruesome Slaughter

Thousands tens of thousands every football nut with access to the Internet is preparing for the big day tomorrow – the actual NFL draft.

Mocksters all over the nation are hesitantly hitting the “publish” button on their blogs, and settling back into their chairs to wait for what can only be a hilarious response to all the stupid shit they said in their “profiles” and “hot takes” on the incoming NFL prospects.

It’s going to be a gruesome slaughter.

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BOOM: the sound you will hear as every mock draft implodes after the first trade on actual draft day. Hey look, even the explosion is mocking this whole process.

“I’ve been sweating over other mock drafts for the past couple weeks,” said the Guy at the Office today. “But I’ve got an angle. I put in trades. Also, I put in 2-5 ‘alternatives’ for each pick, so I’m pretty confident that I’ll have real success tomorrow.”

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2012 Bills Draft Preview: Prepping my Draft Day Scream

Two words: Aaron Maybin.

Bills fans are in a prime position to be disappointed when the Bills make their choice at 10th overall today. The “sexy picks” of WR’s Justin Blackmon and Michael Floyd will likely be already taken or simply passed up by the Bills in order to fill position(s) of more pressing need (OT).

Mind you, I’m a fan of LB Luke Kuechly, SS Mark Barron, and CB Stephen Gilmore, players also mocked to the Bills at tenth overall, but there’s a chance none of them will be available at that 10th pick. Ideally, the Bills should lunge upon Kuechly if he is still there at #10. He’s an elite tackling machine who excels in pass coverage. This  guy should really be up for serious consideration: how about a player who, along with helping the Bills’ run defense, would also better the pass defense? From the Boston Herald:

The 6-foot-3 Kuechly arrived at the combine at his ideal playing weight (242 pounds) and with a head full of knowledge on the evaluation process. Kuechly was described on the combine website as the “most instinctual and technically sound linebacker to enter the draft in years.” That would explain his 532 career tackles, second-most in NCAA history, and an ACC-record 191 last season.

Basically, imagine a hard nosed guy like Poz, but who doesn’t suck. One that can actually help to stymie Tom Brady. One that can help stop that damn running game.

But this is draft day. The kind of day where the Bills might reach on a player like they did with Aaron Maybin (11th overall in 2009) over a stud like Brian Orakpo. No one needed a few NFL seasons to know how that pick would turn out for the Bills. Most mocks have the Bills reaching for OT Riley Reiff. Don’t get me wrong, Reiff is a solid player – but he’s not a top ten talent.

In other words, if the Bills pick a player at 10 that they should trade down for, this will be the sound heard’ round the B-lo (fair warning: turn your speakers down):

 

 

At least that will be the sound from my couch.

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Do the right thing, Bills.

There’s also a good chance the Bills will trade up to land the elite OT Matt Kalil, or trade up for a guy like Kuechly. That tenth spot is pretty dicey in terms of what best player available will be left – and if that guy will be able to make a big impact on the gridiron for Buffalo this season.

Trade up, trade down, whatever you do, Buffalo, do it right.

Otherwise, my neighbors will be hearing from me.

Go Bills.

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