Archive for September, 2012:

#NHL #Lockout: a Self-Perpetuating Autocracy (Also, Unfriendly Advice)

A friendly reminder: the NHL does not own the sport of hockey.

SPOILER ALERT: Pegula is the one dressed all fancy. Wallow away, fans! Wallow away.

An unfriendly task: add up what you’ve spent on NHL tix/related merch since the last lockout.

Posted in: NHL, Sabres

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#Bills Fans: Tailgate with Pinto Ron

“This is what milk looks like sixteen years later.”



Party on, Pinto Ron.

Go Bills.

Posted in: Bills

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#Bills/Chiefs Preview: Computer Analysis Preview

We’ve consulted the oracle of football prognostication for Week 2: 300w" sizes="(max-width: 489px) 100vw, 489px" />


Hot bullet points:

  • Turnovers. Even pixellated 90’s Bills can’t hold onto the ball. Could be a terrible portent.
  • Untold story: Bruce Smith was a monster, registering 9 sacks, including 3 in a row to put an end to one of crappy Steve DeBerg’s comeback attempt drives in the 3rd quarter.
  • Big friggin’ plays. Okoye netting 120 yards on 6 runs, and Robbbbb Thomas’ 74 yards on 2 catches tells you how this game stayed close. Could be another (very likely) terrible portent.
  • Most of these big plays were a result of the LB’s quizzically standing still and simply watching the guy with the rock run past them. Watching them try to catch up with the late “Tecmo speed burst” was pathetic but hilarious. And chilling. Mark this down as another portent.
  • “Bills QB” missed every receiver not named Andre Reed. Terrible portent #4. Fitz, please use all your receivers (yes, even the one with the bad groin, the rookie, and the one that is technically a wildcat quarterback).
  • Bruuuuuuce with the game ball here, but the Thurminator really put in a consistent, dominant performance, and stayed away from oddball political statements, which was nice for a change. I’m starting CJ Spiller on my fantasy team this week.

Go Bills.


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#Bills Week 2 BINGO, plus an Obligatory Drinking Game #BecauseItsBuffalo

Welcome to week 2, Bills fans.

And welcome to our 1st ever edition of Bills BINGO!

I think we all need a little levity after last week’s debacle, and it’s ensuing debacles. Rodney Harrison, and “The Losing Disease” were just two of the more idiotic “media” BS sentiments that Bills fans have had to endure over this past week. Don’t worry folks, Sunday will be here before you know it.

Of course, the real tragedy of the week was the murder of Marcell Dareus’ brother. Thoughts and prayers to him and his family. I can’t believe he’s supposed to be on the field on Sunday. Safe to say all the fans will have Marcell’s back.

This week’s winner receives a signed James Hardy jersey (after the Bills grab him when Stevie Johnson inevitably surrenders to his groin). Well that sounded wrong. The Stevie Johnson part sounded a bit wrong, too.

Oh, also there’s some drinking game fun in those squares, so good luck with your hangovers tomorrow.

Now go buy a dabber. And good luck.

(As always, click the pic to upsize.) 873w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />


Go Bills. 4 EVER. #BecauseItsBuffalo

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Fight the Power: Fans Unite to Destroy The NHL’s Lockout Death Star


With another NHL lockout looming, hockey fans are doing whatever they can (nothing) to help avert the work stoppage. JOIN THE FERVOR:

  1. Some die-hards are hitting the streets checking “Hockeyy Insiderr’s” Twitter to help spread his/her fan petition. (No, I am not linking to it, because he/she really just put it up there to further his/her own agenda. Go ahead, RT his/her petition, and send more people in the direction of his/her’s blog. GO FANS!)
  2. Strategic Idiotic boycotts (of… sponsors…) are being organized on HF Boards. Seriously? Seriously.
  3. Some fans are planning to occupy NHL arenas on Lockout Day (the 15th). This sends a strong “storm the Bastille” sentiment to owners who aren’t actually inside said arenas (they’re actually shirtless and drunk in Bohemian Grove right now). I’d link to this occupy effort shit too, but this is all just getting too damn depressing.


Online petitions? Seriously? Remember how those helped in 2005? Or like, ever? 460w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Just pinch a loaf. You’ll feel a lot better.

I am not here to call NHL fans idiots. That is Gary Bettman’s job.

I’m just here to tell you all what you already should know: you don’t have a say in this.

Online fan petitions? Sorry, folks. You could get a thousand signatures exclusively from children with terminal cancer, and all that the NHL would do in return is issue a “Gee, thanks for the passion, we’re rooting for you!” letter.

Boycotting sponsors? I had no idea the legions of hockey fans were so widespread across the nation/world. 525w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Hope you have trillions of dollars stored up for this, gigantic worldwide businesses. Yeap.

Occupy the arenas? This will last pretty much as long as it takes for the crowd to need to take a piss. Or until the united mob decked out in $200 jerseys starts to get antsy as the hobos roll in looking for food. Still, this is the best idea out of the three, since at least some local businesses might see some customers. I’m sure at least Lloyd Taco Truck is drooling over the prospect of 12-100 people showing up at the FNC determined to shake the world ‘neath Bettman’s feet.

If you really want to make a difference, there is only one way to do it: put your wallets and purses away. Cancel your season tickets. Stop buying jerseys and all NHL merchandise – but do it for the entire season if the lockout happens, not just until hockey comes back. Cancel your NHL Center Ice.

Hit them in the coin purse.

Of course, no one will actually do this.

“Cancel my season tix? Then one of the throngs of other fans on the waiting list will snap them up!”

“Stop buying jerseys? Well, I’ll just get a new Ott one, because he’s been so cool on Twitter.”

“Don’t occupy the arena? You mean this is a thing? Sweet! PARTY AT THE FNC! MmmmmbeeeEEEEEEER!!”

Did I say “hit them in the coin purse?” Let’s call that stupid idea #4. The NHL clearly has us by the coin purse here, and struggling only makes that kind of lock hurt more. 207w" sizes="(max-width: 277px) 100vw, 277px" />

Guess what this is locked around? Ouchy.

Normally I sign off with a cute little “Go Sabres” thing here.

Instead, I’ll just apologize for ranting about what we all already know. Hey, at least I didn’t waste your time on a Saturday. Now get back to work. 460w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Just let nature take it’s course.

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