Bills Preseason Mercifully Ends
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?
Actually, no, we have not been exactly entertained.
That picture pretty much sums up the Bills’ 0-4 preseason thrill ride:
- “Yaaaaawn.” Yup. That was the feel of all four inspired performances.
- 28-10? Wow. We scored 10?
- Armpit stretch. Makes this guy look like one of our linebackers trying to cover a pass.
- No idea what that guy in the bottom corner is saying, but I’ll just assume it’s “Hey – remember that time we signed Vince Young?”
- Lady behind armpit stretch guy is cleaning her nails. This crap bored folks beyond texting.
- Oddly enough, the lady on the right looks engaged – inspired. Well, that, or she’s about to call for the beer guy.
If preseason has taught NFL fans anything, it is that the NFL preseason means nothing. Yes, at the end of the day, some guys will lose their jobs. Thrilling. Mainly, the preseason is a ridiculous cash grab. (Seriously – charging full regular season price for exhibition games is laughable. It’s as if the owners invited us into a dentist’s chair to take out our gold fillings, and we bought tickets to go. Fun!)
The preseason gives us these other points of import:
- Guys get injured. A lot of them. Wish I could say we’re weeding out the weak ones, but no, the LB corps is healthy.
- Positional battles. How exciting. #PUNTWATCH was easily the most compelling preseason battle for the Bills. How many times does Potter have to kick the ball out of the freakin endzone to win a job? ALL OF THEM! #PUNTWATCH! Worth the full price of admission.
- Some other crap.
- SERIOUS FOOTBALL ANALYSIS ALL OVER THE INTERNET (mostly read by guys getting ready for their fantasy drafts)
- Tailgating! Hells yes. Goodtimes. (We’ll ignore how it feels to combine a Genny Cream hangover with a bad football hangover.)
Mercifully, the preseason is over. That odd little buzz in your belly this morning is not the old “Oh geez, I think I’m still drunk” feeling – it’s the feeling of an actual football game – Week One – right around the corner.
No more bullshit, and…
THIS COULD BE OUR YEAR.
Before anyone yaps at me, I am not predicting the Superbowl, or the playoffs, or a singular victory. All that should matter to fans, right now, is that anything is possible.
Feels great, doesn’t it?
And that, folks, is the best part of preseason – the feeling you get when it’s over, because actual football is about to happen. Everything is within reach.
No more yawns. Shit’s about to go down. Screw “baby steps,” I want the playoffs, now, and the road to that begins by ripping the faces off of Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow in Week One.
LET’S DESTROY THINGS.
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