Archive for October, 2011:

“Tebowing” Alternatives

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First of all, let’s state some credit where credit is due:

“Tebowing” is an inspired internet meme – inspired maybe only just enough to get rid of that incredibly stupefying “planking” nonsense – but that achievement should be appreciated by all. Long after Tebow’s career is over, no matter what success or comedic failures he encounters on the field, let it be remembered that he killed Planking.

Now that that is out of the way, late’s take a quick peek at the bombardment of cutesy images of the Tebowing meme. A couple samples:

Ouch 300x168 Tebowing Alternatives

Really? Tebowing in front of Crutches Guy? That's just cruel.

kidTebowing 224x300 Tebowing Alternatives

Cute? Yes. False Idolotry? Not sure. Also not sure if "idolotry" is a correct usage. Let's just move on so we don't get bombarded by angry religious complaints.

Tebowing has taken the nation by storm, and my Twitter feed is full of folks posting their own random Tebowing poses. Goodtimes? Sure, if the lack of oxygen at Mile High is getting to your sense of the awesomely cooler memes we could be launching instead.

In spirit of that, we give you our suggestions for “Tebowing Alternatives.” Feel free to run with these, take pictures, and submit them all over the internet.

To kick things off, let’s turn to the NHL. Take it away, snark portion of my brain:

Lorentzing: holding aloft a hockey stick with a plastic bat impaled at the end. (Great Halloween costume, actually.)

Haseking: some sort of epilectic breakdancing. Open to artistic liscence.

Haseking 262x300 Tebowing Alternatives

Warning: "Haseking" not to be tried while intoxicated. You've been warned.

Folignoing: Ah, the Foligno leap! Have someone snap a pic of you with both legs tucked into your midsection. Skates optional. (Tip-o-the-sunglasses to @Jason_Griswold for offering this one up.)

12 toyota leap 300x184 Tebowing Alternatives

"Toyota!" NO. "Folignoing."

Regehring: Probably not a good idea. Involves pushing someone into a wall, really, really hard. (Tip-o-the-sunglasses to @ABielman316 for this one.) Possibly useful for Police Academy hazing.

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Sabres Not Afraid to use the Butt Ends of their Hilts

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We said yesterday that the Sabres were in for a tough physical test against the hard banging Columbus Blue Jackets.

It was a pretty obvious challenge for the newer, tougher Sabres lineup, considering the stats.

No game in the NHL is truly a gimme, and this contest is shaping up to be a good test. The Sabres should be and are expected to outscore and skate off with a W tonight, but Buffalo’s new-found physicality and size will be pushed to the limits. Just how well the Sabres can protect the blue paint and survive a forecheck could turn this game around in just a shift or two.

Regehr’s got his mitts full tonight.

Watch for the Sabres to send a message (Thundersticks) early. When all is said and done, we should have a good idea of just how tough we are after this one.

Frankly, all we did there was point out the obvious – one of the Sabres broadcast’s “Keys of the Game” was “surviving the Columbus forecheck.”

1 1 3Forecheck 300x228 Sabres Not Afraid to use the Butt Ends of their Hilts

Here comes the 1-1-3 forecheck! Looks like a three headed stick man on paper.

Well, the Sabres outlasted and bettered Columbus at their own game. They outhit the Blue Jackets 14-10. They sent that early message. They sent it with extreme prejudice.

You might say the Sabres kicked their Bass.

The Thundersticks were brought out early and eagerly. Cody Bass was no match for the onslaught. The Jackets were able to claw back to a 2-2 tie after being down 2-0, but they weren’t able to play their game. Instead, they found themselves playing catch-up on the scoreboard, and then playing catch-up to the speedy, rolling Buffalo lines.

Kaleta put the death bullet in the heart of the would-be Jackets’ rally, scoring the game winner with six minutes left. Pominville made sure the quick and talented part of the squad had a say too, driving home an easy goal off an incredibly sweet feed from Thomas Vanek. (Vanek joined 11 other Sabres players with his 400th point with the Blue and Gold on the play. Pominville now has 371 and is closing in fast.)

Thundersticks and speed. This Sabres team is loaded at both ends of the sword, from the tip of the blade to the brunt of the hilt, and they use both very well. It’s already a tough task to beat the Blue and Gold this season, and the team hasn’t completely gelled yet. Mike Weber, leader in hits on the team last season, has yet to suit up for a game.

mikeweberwatch Sabres Not Afraid to use the Butt Ends of their Hilts

But we'll see him soon.

The Sabres stand at 6-3. Their goal differential is an excellent 27-19. The line of Vanek, Pominville, and Adam have combined for 35 points in this 9 game span. Ryan Miller is enjoying a save percentage of .930 behind a revamped defense, which is only going to get better. Enroth: .950. Key parts of the Sabres’ core offense are becoming parts of Sabres history. All these are wonderful portents for success.

But last night, the Sabres sent the Columbus Blue Jackets, and the NHL, a message.

Try and forecheck all your want. From now on, we’re coming for you.

Go Sabres.

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The Black and Blue Jackets

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They may be 1-7-1, but the Columbus Blue Jackets lose with a bang.

Robyn Regehr currently leads the Sabres with what most Buffalo fans consider to be a head-turning 21 hits. It’s a good number, but it would only be good enough for 3rd on the Jackets’ roster (Columbus has played one more game than the Sabres). Even Pat Kaleta would be barely clinging to 5th place on the Columbus roster in the hits category, and that’s saying something.

Here’s the alarming comparison, in our hastily put together stat-infograph (click to resize):

Blackandbluejackets 300x168 The Black and Blue Jackets

You might not know the name "Derek Dorsett" yet, but he'll be more than happy to pound an impression of it into our minds tonight.

The Jackets aren’t simply throwing their bodies around willy-nilly, either. Dorsett has a healthy 16 PIM’s to go with his 23 hits, but as for the rest of the team, they simply hit hard and smart: the rest of the guys on this roster have one or two minor penalties to accompany their hits.

DerekDorsett 300x239 The Black and Blue Jackets

Dorsett's unsettling face.

No game in the NHL is truly a gimme, and this contest is shaping up to be a good test. The Sabres should be and are expected to outscore and skate off with a W tonight, but Buffalo’s new-found physicality and size will be pushed to the limits. Just how well the Sabres can protect the blue paint and survive a forecheck could turn this game around in just a shift or two.

Regehr’s got his mitts full tonight.

Watch for the Sabres to send a message (Thundersticks) early. When all is said and done, we should have a good idea of just how tough we are after this one.

Go Sabres.

Edit:

DT1 The Black and Blue Jackets

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The Amerks 12 Days of Christmas

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It’s Halloween season!

JasonVoorhees 300x235 The Amerks 12 Days of Christmas

Which means we all get at least one day to dress up like this guy between buying Christmas decorations, which have been on sale since October 1st.

So, in that Halloween spirit of giving, I present to you the 2009 version of the “12 Days of Christmas,” as performed by the Rochester Americans. Then affiliated only with the Florida Panthers, it nonetheless remains a chilling touching reminder of why hockey players should never, ever sing.

(Unless, of course, they are in the band “Red Seal Peach.”)

Take it away, Florida Amerks 0f 2009!

Lyrics are provided below… out of utter necessity.

Alexander Salak: “On the twelth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, 12 amazing glove saves.”
Jason Garrison: “On the eleventh day of christmas the amerks gave to me, 11 scorching slapshopts.”
Michal Repik: “On the tenth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, 10 goals by Repik.”
Evgeny Dadanov: “On the ninth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, 9 points by Dadanov.”
Luke Beaverson: “On the eighth day of christmas the amerks gave to me,eight crunch a weeping.”
Brady Calla: “On the seventh day of christmas the amerks gave to me, seven cups of winning.”
David Brine: “On the sixth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, six lamps a lighting”
Shawn Matthias: “On the fifth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, FIVE POWER PLAY GOALS!”
Jimmy Bonneau: “On the fourth day of christmas the amerks gave to me, four gloves dropped.”
Andrew Sweetland: “On the third day of christmas the amerks gave to me, three breakaways.”
Mike Duco: “On the second day of christmas the amerks gave to me, two sprit dancers.”
Tyler Plante: “On the first day of christmas the amerks gave to me a the best fans in all of hockey!!”

I expect the Pegula Era version of this carol to be overwhelmingly superb (and to utilize heavy dose of Auto-Tune).

Go Amerks.

Go Sabres.

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Brett Hull Tweeted.

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Groan.

In case you haven’t heard already – this story has now been on the local TV morning shows – Brett Hull recently jabbed Sabres fans with the following tweet:

TheHullTweet Brett Hull Tweeted.

It's the "hugs and smooches" that got under my skin, initially.

Here’s his “new pic” (his Twitter avatar), enlarged for your enjoyment:

BH 298x300 Brett Hull Tweeted.

Don't let him get to you, folks.

We all remember 1999. We all remember “no goal.” It’s what we do: we remember this event, because, well it was a big deal, but it also happened almost 13 years ago. It’s been a long time since it happened. I think it’s safe to say that we’re over it, and my, how things have changed. We’re into something new in town, you know, this Pegula Fever that’s taken over every hockey household in WNY and beyond. Dallas is into something new too – nowadays they’re the ones with ownership problems.

I look at that picture again, and I see a snarky smile on an aging icon. Hull’s poking fun, sure. He’s having fun. And why not? Isn’t it time we let go of this supposed controversy and got on with ourselves?

Even here on BSN we’ve lightened up about this already. We had our fun with the ol’ “no goal” during our “Summer Awards” series. Remember “the Dirty Brett?” Goodtimes:

Buffalo will never get a chance to have revenge on Hull, but he at least is the inspiration behind today’s award, which goes to the player “most hated by Sabres fans, and who causes the most anger and/or sadness through their distasteful decision to continue to exist.”  We’ll entertain two categories here: the “Permanently Loathed” sect and the “Reproachable Act” sect (who will be represented by players who slapped Buffalo fans around specifically in the 2010-11 season).

Danny Briere was our winner (over Chara, Eric Staal, and Danny Carcillo). Briere! Yea, I think we’ve adjusted the trajectory of our player hatred in this town.

Beyond the many seasons and years that have passed since “no goal,” are three important facts.

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