NHL Namesake Tournament (Round 1)

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This is the Hypothetical NHL Namesake Tournament, where the best team representative wins. See here for our intro post about it, but it comes down to the real life versions of the NHL team names playing each other.  In the toilet bowl we had the Panthers tearing apart the Oilers – so the Panthers advanced to the bottom seed of the Eastern conference.

To kick off round 1 we have Capitals vs. Panthers and Canucks vs. Avalanche

Not to influence your voting, but we have to talk about these matchups just a little bit or we wouldn’t be doing our job.

Capitals vs. Panthers

The Washington Capitals are not an eagle (like their alternate logo), or a hockey stick or even the means with which to buy something. So the Capitals are a collection of regions that are the seat of government? I guess this means they can pass bills that will allow more hunting of the Panthers and eradicate them slowly over time. In any case, the pen is mightier than the sword, so when voting think deeply about the power held by those in our nations (and various states’) capital.

 NHL Namesake Tournament (Round 1)

The Panthers are pretty straightforward – it’s the same, massive cat that can rip out jugular veins. That cat gnawing on your forearm? He’s just playing… aww… good kitty.

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Who wins? Capitals versus Panthers

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Canucks vs. Avalanche

The Canucks are a fierce opponent. They’re the West coast version of the canadian who has the ability to drink an awful lot of Labatt or Molson. They can keep their opponents confused by paying for things with looneys and tooneys,  pronouncing ‘about’ and ‘out’ oddly, calling people hosers, or making sure you’re listening by ending each sentence with ‘eh?’.

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How does one stop an avalanche? With it’s massive, destructive power it’s hard to bet against it. There are many factors however, and perhaps a Canuck, being from the cold, white North knows how to deal with such a natural disaster (for instance, chugging a 12 pack to stay warm while buried under it).

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Who wins? Canucks vs. Avalanche

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Posted in: NHL

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